Terrifying Farm Scenes

`Born in a barn.  That would be something….a good start.  Nine siblings.  You are the youngest.  Raised only by your mother.  A raving atheist.  She studies art.  She gets wrapped up in an affair with a minister.  She makes a deathbed confession: she killed her husband when she was pregnant with you.  She also admits she has always believed in God, though she professed otherwise.  And, she affirms she never cheated on your father.  You see yourself as a modern Van Goh.  You finish your degree in art and meet a fellow painter, Reggie.  You become friends, and soon something brews strange inside you.  Your homoerotic feelings blossom and are reciprocated by Reggie.  You confess that you foresee a life in which you both share a home and paint and live and die together.  Shortly after Reggie acquiesces, you consciously decide to abandon him.  You skip town and proceed to paint a series of paintings in which you depict yourself having a beautiful affair with a gorgeous woman while Reggie always appears in the picture, but does so as blind and unknowing and oblivious.  This of course is a farce, but succeeds, and Reggie, upon seeing the paintings, has nothing but utter disdain for you, and goes his own way.  You begin painting like a madman.  Terrifying farm scenes.  In the back of your mind you had always hoped and indeed believed that Reggie would come find you and beg for you to come back.  As this never happened, you believe yourself to be a failure.  You make up your mind to sacrifice yourself and join the father that you never met.`